A Lovely World I’m Living in Called Medium

Alireza Zare
4 min readAug 21, 2021
Photo by Kaitlyn Baker on Unsplash

Dear Medium,

I was entangled in a trap I called life, my life, with chains of materialistic values around my legs and ropes of uncertainty around my wrists. I was floundering chest-deep in a swamp of worry and anxiety, going even deeper with every single move I made. I was somehow riding a wooden horse, rocking back and forth non-stop without moving a single inch forward. I felt like having been metamorphosed into a bizarre creature, incarcerated in a cramped room, crawling around on the floor, walls and ceiling to find a way out, but there was no luck.

Modern life, with all its wonders and beauty, could be a living hell when you have to work your ass off around the clock to make ends meet. Providing for your family so that they can live a comfortable life is a wonderful thing. However, you get lost in the process. You leave yourself behind somewhere in the past, while longing to get back and pick yourself up. Coping with modern life difficulties makes you forget who you are and who you wanted to be someday.

The sad story is in this never-ending race to be more successful than the past and build a more comfortable life for others you are committed to, you feel empty inside when you find yourself chained in a stinking dungeon of loneliness, while your loved ones are around. That loneliness I’m talking about cannot be felt by others, nor can it be filled by their presence because they are already there. It is, most probably, a painful byproduct of growing up in a materialistic society. No one is to blame for that. Not a single soul.

At a certain point in your life, you realize that your life is going by, but you are not a part of it even though you are there. You come to know that this is not your real you. It was not supposed to be like that. It is not what you had pictured yourself to be back in your young days. What can save you? You start looking and searching. You join a gym. Great, but not that effective. You watch TV. Good, still not healing your wounds. You need something bigger, something more splendid. A retreat, a lovely space where you can let your hair down, away from the hustle and bustle of modern life, far away from “the maddening crowd”. A place where you can be yourself, for yourself, and all by yourself.